This is something that's been eating at me for a long time. I guess you could say I've been thinking about writing this long before I had an outlet for it and now I have a nifty new blog to unburden myself, and pass it on to you.
I have tattoos. I have what some of my friends and family would describe as a lot of tattoos. I don't personally think of them as "a lot" because I know many people that have lots more.
I love my tattoos, I love having them and I love getting them. I really enjoy the whole experience. The buzzing sound the machine makes, the smell of the inks, disinfectants, various soaps and the shop itself. Meeting and talking to the artist. Meeting and talking to the other tattooies in the shop. The process of the design. The feel, yes even that. The pain is a very real and special part. You get a rush from it, your body releases endorphins in response to the pain. You have to go inward and experience the pain but not let it bother you. It's wild. I love talking about tattoos. Everywhere I go someone asks me about them and usually leaves with more than they wanted to know.
The thing I hate about my tattoos is the assumption of competition. Just about everywhere I go someone is compelled to tell me about a brother, friend, guy that walks a dog or ex-boyfriend that has way more than I do. I get "Yeah, but I know this guy that has waaaay more than you do..." I don't care. I mean I really don't care. I am fully aware that there are thousands upon thousands of people that have more tattoos than I do. And I don't care. You know what? They don't care either. It's like people think there's some International Tattoo Championship(tm) at stake and they have to tell me I'm falling behind.
I've always wanted to tell the women that say these things to me, "My brother's girlfriend? Yeah, shes way prettier than you." Just out of the blue and total deadpan. "Hey, hows it going? Nice weather. Man, this girl I know has way bigger tits than you. Do you like the Who?". Guys could get the same thing. "You watch the DC United match last night? Wow, your sideburns look like you did them in the dark, this guy that walks my dog cuts his way better."
I'm not sure why people feel the need to let me know my position on the International Tattoo Championship(tm)leader-board but I can tell you no one with tattoos has ever told me about it. Maybe it's something I'm not meant to know about. Maybe somewhere out there in non-tattoo society they're keeping tabs and will give out an award after they all compare notes. I don't really know but if that's the case, I wish they'd hurry up and give it out 'cause I'm tired of hearing about it.
I have no tattoos, so you're ahead of me in the tattoo race LOL
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of people who don't have tattoos are operating under the mistaken assumption that you ARE in a competition.
ReplyDeleteI've always interpreted the "I know someone who has more" comment as a way of saying, "You ain't all that." I'm pretty sure this attitude comes from another mistaken assumption that people with numerous tattoos have them as a statement that they ARE all that.
Your tattoos were one of the first things that drew me to you. It was one of many clues that you were not concerned about the status quo, but you were true to yourself, in all your quirky, "different" glory.
That goes right along with the "myproblems are worse than your's" thing. I will tell people about my back surgery or my arthitis in my knees, and they always come back with similar remarks. "My back hurts too, my knees have no cartilidge left." I know that it may come across that I don't care about their ailments, but why would you ask what is wrong with me if you just wanted to tell me how trivial mine are?
ReplyDeleteP.S. Tattooes are a sin and therefore are not for me, as I am the perfect Christian.
P.S.S. You are way ahead of me in the unspoken, unheard of Tattoo race too. You are my tattoo hero.
Speaking of the tattoo race, I need to do some catching up. Is there anyone at Ambrotos or anywhere else that you would recommend?
ReplyDelete@Steve; check out Shaun brown at Tattoo Paradise in Wheaton. He's done lots of my work (though that was at a different shop) or if you're up for a field trip, the Baltimore Tattoo Museum has some really good work coming out of it. Bill the owner is a great guy. If Nicky Chance is still at Ambrotos he does some really rad stuff with an old school look, and Tim Caution does some really good stuff.
ReplyDelete@Alice, bullshit, you love me for my green bucket hat.