Flavor Assisted Suicide

Those of you that know me know already my love of fine cigars. There's something meditative about the entire process. From going to the store and into the walk-in humidor (man, I want one) and perusing the different brands, sizes and shapes. The choices are almost endless. Choosing one or two out of a box or even picking one from my own humidor. The unwrapping, the first smell, looking at it to judge the cut or punch. The lighting. Oh, the lighting. When done right its almost like foreplay. The first really nice puff. The way it tastes and smells. Then bliss. For around 45 minutes all my worries are gone. Just a little bit of decadence.

Smoking a pipe is much the same. Although a pipe has a learning curve the joy is the same. Just me and some fine tobacco. Going into the tobbacco store, looking through the jars, smelling each one and picking out two or three to bring home. Packing the bowl and adding fire. Siting back and relaxing. Or, on occasion, playing croquet. (I'd like to take a moment here and point out that I have NEVER lost a game in my yard. In fact I'm pretty much the World Champion in this yard. So if you're looking for a game, come get some but don't expect to leave happy.)









For my birthday I was given some money. I took about half and squandered it on bills and food for the screaming masses that make up my family. The other half I spent on me. I got myself a hookah. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. I did some research and careful consumer shopping. I knew I had a budget that could not be broken. I did more research. After looking all over the interwebs I found it. My new hobby. Hours and hours of searching, learning and economic calculations, I got myself the perfect hookah. For those in the know, I got a Mya QT. For those not in the know, I got myself a blue one. I also got 10 different flavors of tobacco. And believe it or not, a spare 2 hose hookah. This last week I've been laid up with a bad back (more about this in another post. See? I told you guys I had a lot to talk about) so at least I've had a chance to try it out, as well as watch a lot of World Cup.
Smoking a hookah is a bit of both cigar and pipe smoking. There is a lot to choose from, a bit of learning to set it up and use it right. Man, is it worth it though. The whole process is cool, setting it up with ice water, getting the coals ready, choosing the moassell, packing the bowl. All coming together when you take the first pull. Then just me relaxing with my thoughts (do I use my left or right hand for that?). Just a little bit of decadence. (I do kinda wish I could share it with someone. After all, hookah is a social thing).
I'm not sure what the word is for someone who enjoys tobacco in a hobby sense but I'm definitely one of them. If you are too, or if you'd like to be, come by. I've got backgammon too, it's OK though, I'm not as good at that as I am croquet.

Birthdays, a Birthday and One More Birthday.

June 3rd 1972. Austin, Texas.
Yes, that's the day I was brought forth. My parents have since referred to it as "Black Wednesday". This year I turned 38. Yes, really. Feeling old. Kids I skate with have never been in a world without the Simpsons. They have no idea of the horror of a Reagan Administration. The USSR is just something in old Atlases'. The US was never without a professional soccer league (not that anyone cares even now).
Still, its not that bad. I have a family I'd kill or die for. I'm sitting out in the backyard smoking a hookah (more on this in a later post) writing this on my Blackberry. I have a lot to be thankful for. And unlike many other people in my generation, I am. I'm healthier than I've ever been (shut up about cigars, pipes and hookahs. I said healthier, not healthy) and have almost a year and a half sober. I have a better outlook than ever before. I can just about always find the positive in any situation and am just about always smiling. Finding joy in everyday life is an awesome way to live and I highly recommend it.


June 3rd 1998. Takoma Park, Maryland.
Gareth Jae Graham was given to me. Yes, we share a birthday, how awesome is that? As his mom and I held him and each-other crying with joy at this perfect, tiny thing, I jokingly asked her what she was going to do for my birthday the following year. She left me. Win again.
Gareth gets his name from two sources. First, it starts with a "G" (both my dad's and my name start with "G") and second, it's Welsh. That's a nod to my mothers father and his family (as a side note, they had to leave Wales when my Great Grandfather killed an English-man in a bar when he was told he could no longer speak in his native language. So yeah, fuck the crown).
His middle name comes from my best friend I met in elementary school. I know he'd have hated for me to use his full name. We took the first letter and put a Welsh spin on the spelling. Jamil died shortly after I turned 21 and I still miss him terribly. That I couldn't save him is one of only two regrets I will always carry with me. Don't get me wrong, I don't beat myself up about it. I try to use it as a reminder that I need to cherish every moment I'm gifted to spend with loved ones. And that no sacrifice is too great for those we care about.

June 12th, 2002. Wahsington DC.
Blaise Graham Gambino was born to the most loving mother anyone has ever had or could hope to have. It is with great embarrassment and humiliation that I confess I was not present. There is no defense for the decisions I made at the time and I will not attempt to defend myself now. All I can say is that I am no longer the person I was then. The reasons for my not being present are not something I'm going to go into here but it is my firm hope that someday I will be able to be the father to Blaise I should have been from that day. This is, as you may have guessed, my second and biggest regret. Blaise is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I'm glad to be apart of his life. I truly hope that after he realizes he has this to hold against me, he will forgive me. There is a lesson here too but one I hope no one else has to learn. Kids will bring out the best in you as well as show you the worst in you.

June 26 1994. Charlestown West (by God) Virginia.
My dog Bezboo was born. My Grandparents had a cabin just outside of Charlestown that we went to on weekends in the summer. It was my first summer living on my own. My mom hated (and still hates) dogs. I was always told "You can have a dog when you live on your own". So we went one weekend I and I got my dog. She was 4 weeks old when I called dibs on her and we went back the following weekend to get her. She has been my friend, companion and sometimes the only thing alive that would put up with my shit. I had names narrowed down to Shenna (from the Ramones song), Anarchy, Bes and Bamboo (used as a symbol in Eastern art for the start of a new path). As I was just starting out on my own I was leaning towards Bamboo but really liked the idea of Bes. The description in the symbol book was something like "A grotesque figure with tongue hanging out placed over doors to ward off evil and protect." What's that, if not a dog? So Bezboo it was (I liked the "Z". What? Z's are cool).

I have way more to tell about my affection for my kids and dog than you have patience to read about, so I'll leave it at this; I am fully aware that having lived my life the way I have, I in no way deserve these gifts. I am fully aware that I have taken for granted these miraculous people and animal. I know that I'm as out of chances as one can get. I can only say I see what I have and am lucky beyond words that I still have them in my life and I promise that I will continue to work just as hard as I have for the last year. I know I can never make up for the past and won't try to. But to each of these amazing people (and one dog) I can say "I love you with all of my heart and will do so for the rest of my life".

Just Checking In.

Hey gang (if you guys still read this), I know it's been a while, but don't fret, I have plenty of things to talk about. I'm just kinda swamped. I'll have two or three posts in the next few days. "What do we have to look forward to?" I hear you ask with bated breath. Birthdays, back problems, a new hobby and a lifestyle change (By "lifestyle change", I mean a new greener way of doing something, not an admission of some deeply buried... well, I'm not gay.) among other things. Also, dart season starts next week so you should expect some rants about that.
Check back in a while and read the goodness.
Oh and by the by, my mustache is looking good. With a little wax I could remind you of someone...